Over the years I have seen many children and teens of divorced parents. I have observed that many times the divorce does not stop the parental fights. In the chaos of the divorce many parents forget that the primary concern is now their children. So I have decided to share what many kids want you to know.
1. Do not use me to get back at each other.
2. I am not your message machine you need to talk to each other. And I don’t understand your adult problems.
3. Do not abandon me.
4. Let me talk with my other parent. By withholding I will eventually resent you.
5. Do not scream or fight as you did when you were married. You are divorced now, shouldn’t the fighting be over?
6. Please include me in your new family. Don’t replace me. Talk to me about my life that may be separate from your life.
7. Please love me even if I remind you of your ex. I have both of your genes.
8. Be involved in my school activities, sports and competitions. Even if your ex is there, remember I am the one who needs you there.
9. It is nice to receive gifts but it would be awesome if I knew it was not because you feel guilty or want me to side with you.
10. Respect your ex for my sake. It is embarrassing when you involve my teacher, coach, doctor, dentist and family with your negativity about my mom/dad. Do you want me to grow up bitter like you are behaving?
What your children want is consistent, trusting, respectful, loving parents who stay connected and involved with them. They still want to be your children.