Many times when I work with families I help them develop hand signals to slow or stop a heated discussion. This way everyone has the potential of gaining control of their words. During one of these sessions I reached over and poked a father in the shoulder to stop engaging in a verbal battle. The son turned to me and said, “You just Cesared my dad.” Of course I googled who Cesar was and discovered, “The Dog Whisperer.”
Over the years I have seen many children and teens of divorced parents. I have observed that many times the divorce does not stop the parental fights. In the chaos of the divorce many parents forget that the primary concern is now their children. So I have decided to share what many kids want you to know.
It happened again! Somehow my blog for January just disappeared. Poof it is out there somewhere floating on the super highway called the Internet. Did I do what my 24 year old said to do and back it up? Nope, I did not. Did I write it in a document first and then transfer it over here? Ummm, NO! Why am I discussing this on my blog? It is quite simple really I am having a grief reaction. That’s right, I am grieving the loss of something. We all do this several times a day with the loss of our keys, missing an appointment, being put down or maybe the loss of a pet, a dream, or bigger still the death of someone we loved.
Grief, mourning and bereavement are fancy words to describe the phases of adjustment that we go through during a loss. A loss for a child/teen can be from a death, health, divorce, change in school, moving, break ups, being bullied, theft of personal property, intrusion or violation.
You must understand that technology is not my thing. The first time I saw a computer was when my husband bought a Comador 64. I personally had and still have a typewriter. We upgraded to some other computer of which I can’t remember. This computer was handed down to my then 5th grader. This computer became all mine in 2007 when I decided that my practice needed to become more up to date. I started my first website using this clunky machine.