Over the years I have seen many children and teens of divorced parents. I have observed that many times the divorce does not stop the parental fights. In the chaos of the divorce many parents forget that the primary concern is now their children. So I have decided to share what many kids want you to know.
I was having breakfast out prior to the big holiday shopping spree. There was a grandfather having a breakfast conversation with his two grandsons who looked to be about 9 and 12 years old. My ears perked up when he said, “We need a plan…” He continued, “Well, your grandma is in on the plan and stands ready to wrap anything we bring home. And the best part is that she will keep your gift a secret!” They were talking about a strategy for shopping for the boys’ parent. I began imagining all sorts of fun they were going to have implementing their plan, learning how to give meaningfully to others. These types of conversations help to reinforce the values of gratitude, respect, and appreciation that we want to nurture in our children.
My friend Jonna’s husband wrote this pledge back in 1986 which I ascribe to.
As a psychotherapist, I am privileged to know many people in depth and to help them in their efforts to resolve their emotional problems and live more fully. Often frightened, confused, and in great pain, those seeking my help must trust me to care about them and be able to provide the help which I offer.